Wednesday, September 2, 2015

My former best friend's uncle killed himself with blood pressure medication.  I know that less than 5% of overdoses are successful, but sometimes the science just makes sense.

In an unrelated incident, I wrecked my girlfriend's car.  Nothing serious, it just didn't add to my feelings of self-worth.  

So the cops show up, and what do they do?  Who the fuck cares about the fence or the car?  No, I must be suicidal.

Those poor, stupid fucks.  It hurts me to see such stupidity.  Because I was suicidal: they were just too stupid to realize I'd taken a month's worth of prazosin and benzos.  They just figured I was drunk, and every pretty little blonde girl needs a savior.

The only thing they checked my blood for was booze.  They didn't look for any of the psychotropics I ingested so that I would never, ever have to see or deal with an abusive cop again.

I wanna be this dumb.  It looks blissful.

We got locked of the house that night..I don't blame my SO: she was in a hurry to get to the hospital and make sure I was okay.

We spent the night in the car I wrecked.  Poetry BAM.
The next night everything kicked in.  I don't know if it was an evolutionary imperative that kept me going for that long, or if I was just done.  I couldn't breath, except through my mouth, and the ceiling fan was drying out my sinuses.  I was wicked confused, because I kept losing consciousness for a few minutes at a time.  I kept waking up on the floor, or feeling my way along the wall.  I was so fucking thirsty, and so scared.  I know I did this to myself.  I am not pushing sympathy.

I kept begging Cocksucking Wake-You-Up-In-the-Middle-of-the-night for help, but since I couldn't commicate very well in that state, she chose frustration and cruelty.  I couldn't see.  I kept trying to stand, but ended up on the floor.  I felt the walls until I/could find an entryway.  Fell down again.  Everything was blurry and I wanted to lay on the floor, but I was so thirsty.

You can ask DEB if you feel like it.  That self-righteous prick will be more than happy to tell you I was never homeless: I made it up for attention.

But yes, let's say for the sake of attention-seeking argument (thank you, DEB, with your  passive-aggression and huge fake tits .  Believe me, I wish my breasts were larger, but I wouldn't want to be you.  You and your tits are a joke).

My mouth was wicked dry and I was trying to ask my girlfriend for water.  I tried to stand, but ended up on the floor.  I kept feeling the walls and falling over while my SO yelled at meI couldn't see.  I tried to stand, but ended up on the floor.  I felt the walls until I  could find the entryway.  Fell down again.  Everything was blurry and I wanted ton lay on the floor, but I was so thirsty.

You can ask Desiree, if you feel like it.  That self-righteous prick will me more than happy to tell you I was never homeless: I made it up for attention.

But yes, let's say for the sake of attention-seeking argument (thank you, Desiree, with your  passive-aggression and huge fake tits .  Believe me, I wish my breasts were larger, but I wouldn't want to be you.  You and your tits are a joke).

My mouth was wicked dry and I was trying to ask my girlfriend for water, but my mouth was too dry.  I kept trying to grab her hand but I couldn't see.  I tried to stand, but ended up on the floor.  I felt the walls until I  could find the entryway.  Fell down again.  Everything was blurry and I wanted to just lay on the floor, but I needed water.  Again, feel free to listen to DEB, but let's say for the sake of attention-seeking argument that I do remember the thirst of a hot Floridiot day.  I will never again look at a cup of Dunkin Donuts ice water the same way.

So I desperately kept trying to say, "ice water" to my SO but nothing would come out right.

 I couldn't see.  I tried to stand, but ended up on the floor.  I felt the walls until I  could find the entryway.  Fell down again.  Everything was blurry and I wanted ton lay on the floor, but I was so thirsty.

You can ask Desiree, if you feel like it.  That self-righteous prick will me more than happy to tell you I was never homeless: I made it up for attention.

But yes, let's say for the sake of attention-seeking argument (thank you, Desiree, with your  passive-aggression and huge fake tits .  Believe me, I wish my breasts were larger, but I wouldn't want to be you.  You and your tits are a joke).

My mouth was wicked dry and I was trying to ask my girlfriend for water, but my mouth was too dry.  I kept trying to grab her hand but I kept trying to grab her hand he-night please help me.  I couldn't keep my eyes open, and having ever been homeless means you''ll crave the moon like earth craves the sun.

I couldn't see.  I tried to stand, but ended up on the floor.  I felt the walls until I  could find the entryway.  Fell down again.  Everything was blurry and I wanted ton lay on the floor, but I was so thirsty.

You can ask Desiree, if you feel like it.  That self-righteous prick will me more than happy to tell you I was never homeless: I made it up for attention.

But yes, let's say for the sake of attention-seeking argument (thank you, Desiree, with your  passive-aggression and huge fake tits .  Believe me, I wish my breasts were larger, but I wouldn't want to be you.  You and your tits are a joke).

My mouth was wicked dry and I was trying to ask my girlfriend for water, but my mouth was too dry.  I kept trying to grab her hand but